the unabridged reader

There is a block. Something like a wall. Or perhaps something like a chain?

There is a force that is paralysing every bit of me.

I can’t make my feet move. I can’t make my brain think. I can’t make my heart care.

I am at a mountain gap, and I can’t decide if I want to go back or jump into a new, unknown world.

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I have taken the last couple of months to reflect and meditate.

What do I really want to do in life? What am I passionate about?

Why am I feeling lost and misplaced? I think many of us, in the midst of hustling and surviving, have forgotten to pause and peek inside our hearts. Are we living the life we’ve always dreamed of, or are we just going along with the current trends?

More often now, I find myself just wanting to hit pause. How I wish we can do that. Press pause in life to just take a breath and rest. Because it feels like even during my rest periods, I should be doing something passive like listening to an audiobook or a podcast. My brain feels guilty when I am not doing something productive. But then my brain also feels so cluttered and chaotic. I don’t even know if it’s just me, or if it’s something that is happening to other people because of the current state of the world.

I also find myself daydreaming about simpler times. Times when technology was not as advanced as it is now. Technology was meant to make our lives easier-

But it feels like technology is just taking away so much of what makes life meaningful.

It takes away conversation, as we stare at our gadgets all day. It takes away meditation, as we fill our schedules down to the very last minute with as much activity as we can. It takes away individuality and creativity as articificial intelligence create “art” for us.

I know I am not alone. I know many are like me, standing firm in the ways of old; ways that respect and value the quiet, the slow, and the meaningful.